Traumatic Love by Ellen Hoil

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Books perform many functions. They entertain, yes. They are also portals to many thoughts, feelings and experiences that one may not live otherwise. Then there are books that sensitise reader to mindsets, emotions and behaviours that may seem difficult to fathom but have strong roots and basis. This book achieves all three.

Dr. Nydia Rogers is the Chief of ER at Riverview Hospital. Professionally she is a dedicated doctor and personally she keeps mostly to herself. She has one friend, one of the nurses, Trudy, with whom she goes back decades. While Nydia runs the department efficiently she faces constant haranguing from Dr. Goddard about her gender and sexuality. Not to mention that Goddard is also lackadaisical about his work and blames her for pulling him up. Inexplicably, she keeps a civil tongue in her head with his despite his disgusting vitriol.

Jo Powers is a cop mostly working in cases of domestic abuse. While responding to one such attack, Jo is hit on the head by the wife of the perp aka, the woman being beaten up, herself. Thus Jo finds herself in the ER and under Nydia’s ministrations.

The two women have a magnetic pull towards each other till Nydia learns that a cop and immediately shuts down creating a massive gulf between the two of them. The connection between them draws them irresistibly towards one another. However, Nydia has a past that she hasn’t dealt with and the going in rocky – till past issues are resolved.

Writing about Domestic Violence and Intimate Partner Violence can never be easy and in this one, that forms a large part of the context and character development. Right in the beginning, Hoil underscores the fact that people in an abuse situation often make excuses for the person abusing them (ref: the woman being beaten was the one who swung the baseball bat on Jo) and a depressing number of people go back into their toxic environments.

Jo has been witness to domestic violence as a child. However, her mother removed Jo and her sister, Electra, from the acidic environment as soon as their father turned on the girls. Jo is healed and grown up to be a sorted, steady person. The love between the mother and the two girls forms Jo’s bedrock. Since she is a well-adjusted human being, Jo can do her work effectively, taking joy in the miniscule percentage of people who get out of their putrid environments with law intervening at just the right moment. The past exposure to violence and the love that now surrounds her makes Jo capable of loving with an unwavering staunchness that may not have been understandable otherwise.

Nydia is psychologically a much more complex character. The extent of her past experience is revealed slowly through the narrative but right from the start, you know there is much more going on with her. When she freezes Jo for being a cop, you know that there are layers to her. Through the story, she flip-flops, lashes out and has irrationally strong negative responses that she unleashes on Jo. Jo remains staunch and stalwart through it all, figuratively holding Nydia through her roiling emotions.

Before you get an idea that Nydia is just an unreasonable handful, we’d like to clarify, she is also loving and giving in perfect ways. There is one moment when Nydia looks at Jo, has overwhelming emotions and thinks that she never wants to stop feeling that way about Jo. This was one of the most beautiful moments of love we’ve seen. And this, right here, is Hoil’s achievement. Nydia fluctuates rather wildly and widely, but Hoil writes in a way that you can somehow sympathise with her. You are right there with Jo in wanting to soothe. In wanting to understand. In wanting to protect. In wanting to engulf Nydia in love.

The relationship between Nydia and Jo is a fine balancing act that Hoil addresses superbly. At one point, when as a reader you feel okay, now this is just too much, Jo responds in the exact same way. In her conversation with her friend, Duncan, she expresses the exact same sentiments that you feel about the emotional rollercoaster that Nydia and their relationship is. With that Hoil scene and exchange, establishes that Jo is not a doormat and not unaware of the yo-yoing. She is fully cognizant and is choosing Nydia over and over. That is what love should always be – you choose someone in their completeness. And this scene strengthens the romantic aspect of the story immeasurably.

The psychological conditioning that the environment you are brought up in has a very, very far-reaching impact. Without overtly stating this, this fact is laid bare in the fact that Nydia allows Goddard’s insubordination, venom and attacks for as long as she does.

(On reflection, it is easy to see why Nydia’s emotions go haywire when her relationship with Jo starts. In order to exist, Nydia has suppressed her feelings and memories. As her emotions for Jo grow, the Pandora’s box of all her emotions is opened and she is just churning with all these feelings she hasn’t named or acknowledged. It is little wonder that she is all over the place.)

Sensitisation to others, an understanding of other ways of being and an ability to empathise with reactions that could and would seem irrational – this book achieves these and creates a profound impact. Reading it was a definite emotional growth for us.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Vegas Savages by Jane Brooke

⭐⭐⭐⭐☆

Adjectives slam around when we try to think about what to say about this book. The one that swims on to the top is -- raw. This book is raw. It has raw emotions, raw sexuality and sexual descriptions and a raw depth. It is also edgy, grimy, gritty and somewhat mind bending. Through it all runs a delicious vein of dry humour and uncompromising observations (good and bad; positive and negative) about everything from politics to environment and conservation.

PI / Bounty Hunter Jane is a Brit repartiate in North Vegas, a place of debauchary, deviance, dreams and deaths. Bold, brilliant, beautiful and badass, Jane has the sensibilities of a vigilante but manages to tread a very, very fine line between meting out justice in crude, painful ways and staying on the right side of law. An unapologetically sexual creature, she has no qualms about using all tools -- guns, martial arts or sex -- at her disposal to put away a bad 'un -- man or woman. 

Jane is described as a Mensa genius, stunning (an ex model), quirky, tall, queer twist savage, steel toed boot string blond, wealthy, linguist, violent, troubled, weapons and martial arts expert, a heart of gold, lives in her own retro/film noir world. She is a NOW generation kinda plugged in girl, seeing the world in a acid etched reality. 

This book takes us into Jane's world as she first handles a couple of jobs for the police, living and partaking enthusiastically of the den of sin that her world is. She is all guns and glam with a massive sexual drive. One of the beautiful girls who come to Vegas with stars in their eyes only to end up in a gutter of deadbeat degradation, reaches out to Jane about her missing thirteen year old daughter.

As Jane tracks the missing child, we are taken through all sorts of darkness and mayhem, depravity and justice.

This is a genre defying work. It cannot be slotted into a neat box. It is erotica. It is crime. It is action. It is stream of consciousness. It is also social and political commentary. It is all these things and yet cannot be contained in just one of these genres.

Written in first person, the style is entirely unique. Clipped phrases form short, staccato sentences that move incidents along at a rapid fire pace. Jane's thoughts move along a stream of consciousness going from thinking of a evil man to Taylor Swift and back seamlessly. The style is kind of mesmerising and addictive.

Brooke doesn't shy away from writing everything in explicit and excruciating detail -- whether it is sex (including a singularly detailed BDSM 'scene'); gut-wrenching and stomach-churning descriptions of what happened to a victim; heart wrenching aftermath of the aforementioned  knowledge on Jane via tortuous dreams; and sordidly graphic violence (which feels strangely satisfying given who is at the receiving end). 

This is not a book for the squeamish or faint hearted but if you do pick it up, it is quite an experience. Enthralling, even.

We certainly recommend this book. Tread the path not frequented and walk the wild side.

⭐⭐⭐⭐☆

Darkness Past by Sheryl D. Hancock

⭐⭐⭐

This series is like a long-running TV show which has on-going storylines of many of the characters and new plot lines and characters keep getting added.

The series is about a bunch of people in law and law enforcement. So there are all these extremely chivalrous, awfully attractive, mostly butch women and their gorgeously femme partners. The main characters and relationships in this one from previous books are Kana-Palani and Cat-Elizabeth. Kashena-Sierra are the new couple.

Women trapped in bad marriages and cheat their spouse with one of the irresistible law enforcement officers of the group is a recurring theme which continues in this one. Somehow, we get the feeling that Hancock is not particularly fond of Elizabeth since some of the most awful things happen to her. For the record, we think Elizabeth is one of the most vulnerable people in the series and our heart really goes out to her.

You can read them as standalone since enough backstory about the main ongoing couples is woven in. But that may not be completely capture the texture of the relationships. We admire the author for achieving this TV-serial-like effect in her writing.⭐⭐⭐

Drawn by Carsen Taite

⭐⭐

This is a tight crime novel which is somehow bracketed into a romance.

Riley Flynn is an artist on the cusp of her first solo show. She specialises in drawing urban cityscapes of her hometown, Dallas. She belongs to a group of artists who have regular artist jams where they meet, draw together for a few hours, critique each other’s work and end up at a pub. Riley has a strained relationship with her mother and a non-relationship with her father, Frank Flynn, who has been in prison for fifteen years accused of murdering a 24-year-old woman. New evidence points towards his innocence but Riley wants to have nothing to do with him because even before her was sent to prison he’d become an absentee father who was cheating his wife with a TA and doing drugs.

The dead body of a young woman turns up with one of Riley’s sketches in her pocket and Detective Claire Hanlon starts her investigations. During the course of her investigations, two more young ladies are murdered and Riley’s sketches are found on both bodies. On the path to a promotion, Claire is being pressured to find a connection between one of the Flynns (Riley or her father) and the murders by her boss who was one of the investigators in Frank Flynn’s bungled case.

The story is taut and well-paced but the romance was unnecessary. It slowed down and marred the thriller aspect. Also we couldn’t really feel the chemistry between Riley and Claire and the sex scene was way too abrupt and forced.

Riley and Claire are fair enough characters not evoking any strong feelings either ways. But then, to be fair, this is more of a story-driven book than a character-driven one. We felt a lot of loose ends were left particularly with the investigation in Frank Flynn’s case. If Claire would’ve somehow unravelled that one, it would’ve been a stronger book. Also, the murderer and his motive wasn’t very convincing. Why serial kill three young ladies when his beef is with someone else? Made no sense.

Basically a just about okay read. 

PS: Doesn't the gorgeous woman on the cover look exactly like Nick Jonas' wife, Priyanka Chopra? 

⭐⭐

Out of the Flames by Stacy Lynn Miller

⭐⭐

San Francisco police detective, Manhattan Sloane lost her parents in a car crash and resultantly has developed huge emotional walls. CSI, Avery Santos somehow manages to get to Sloane and they get married. Sloane is on a case involving drug dealers when DEA Agent Finn Harper arrives to join the investigation. The Feds believe that this is a multi-state ring and have every intention of bringing in the big brain behind the whole set-up. Finn is Sloane’s school crush and Sloane finds the attraction still there, only latent and simmering instead of flaming. During a raid and the subsequent crime scene investigation, a rigged bomb explodes and Avery is a fatality.

We DNF-d the book at this point.

We have some pet peeves and thoughtless playing with people’s hearts ranks right up there. Without exception, when the MC is a player, we actively don’t like them. There are times when we are able to still read through and complete the book (mostly when there is no cavalier breaking of anyone’s heart involved). So Sloane set our teeth on edge right away.

Despite being married and co-parenting Avery’s daughter, Sloane hasn’t given Avery the comfort and confidence of being loved and of Sloane having left her player past behind. Sloane doesn’t tell Avery about Finn’s reappearance in her life. Of an innocent-but-no-entirely-innocent hug. When Avery dies, she is feeling unloved and distanced. Which is unforgiveable especially since Avery is extremely loving and took big risks in loving and pursuing Sloane. Avery deserved better from her partner.

We also get upset when characters we like die. And we really, really liked Avery.

What we can say is that the writing is solid because it made us feel. What we can also say with confidence is that we’d have continued disliking Sloane for everything she’d been in the first half of the book.

So if you don’t have the same reservations about and MC casually breaking hearts and if you don’t have the same ideals and expectations from love as we do, this one should work for you. It didn’t for us.

PS: Despite DNF-ing this one, we are giving it two stars instead of zero because we really, really, really liked Avery and we also liked what little we read of Finn. Plus, we also felt the writing was good.

⭐⭐

Going on Red by Lyn Gardner

⭐⭐⭐☆★

Opposites plus toaster oven would best describe the tropes in this one.

Brodie Shaw, a successful architect-cum-interior-designer, is an out-and-proud player. Kate Monroe is a detective (sexuality: straight, we got to add that here) with her every milestone along her long-term plan all mapped out. Brodie comes from an accepting and supportive family. Kate’s mom is hateful and homophobic. Brodie has had love in her life, Kate has had judgement and more than her share of slaps from her mom. Brodie is patient and amiable, Kate (thanks to her background) wants things her way and has a short fuse. So they are opposites in almost every possible way.

One night an attempted break-in is called in and Kate goes to the crime site. Brodie had called the police about the attempt to break into one of her neighbouring offices. The first meeting between the two is a disaster with Brodie gleefully checking out Kate. Brodie’s smugness and audacity get under Kate’s skin and she has a disproportionate reaction to Brodie. The next couple of meetings aren’t so great either and when Brodie appears as an unexpected dinner guest at Kate’s place with Kate’s sister, Devon, Kate practically loses her shit.

Brodie seems to pull out more emotions and deeper reactions from Kate than anyone else. And the lady does seem to protest too much.

This book is Kate’s journey as she navigates unexpected discoveries about herself, denies the fledging curve on her straight road, acknowledges it, runs frightened, tentatively explores it, accepts it and finally embraces it. It is coming of age (or rather becoming her own person) at a later age (Kate is 35). Gardner does an excellent job in drawing Kate with all her baggage, issues and behaviour defined by her experience with her mother.

Despite the fact this is Kate’s journey, Brodie is not relegated to being just foil or a prop. She is also well-defined as the charming rake doing a 180 degrees for love.

Much to the credit of the author, you can understand, empathise with and root for both the leading ladies – individually and as a couple. At the end, you know the HEA is indeed going to be ever after.

There is a parallel love story between Kate’s best friend, Gina and Devon also playing out. That is all sweetness and hiccough-free. Both these ladies are also absolutely lovely.  

This is a long book spread over a fairish time period but kept us invested and engrossed. 

⭐⭐⭐☆★